Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Open Talk About Anal Sex

Sure, I write anal sex in my books like Surprise Sleepover and Matt and Tom Take a Lover If that bothers you, I'm sorry. In fiction stories the characters are always ready for anal or are prepared easily for their first anal experience, but in real life it might not go so smoothly. So let's be open about anal and what you should know before attempting to have anal sex.

The anus is not lubricated by natural body juices/excretions. The anus is supposed to stay closed most of the time, unless you are defecating. So two things that need to be overcome before you attempt anal. Your anus wants to stay closed and has been working its entire life to stay closed. Before you go anal, please do some anal play. There are small toys that can be used to help open up your anus. And second, you have to use lubricant.

If you are planning on receiving anal sex to please your lover, please stop and think about your safety before you just go at it. Keep lubrication on you. Adam and Eve has a personal lubricant sample pack so you can carry a small tube with you. Main thing is don't skimp on the lube. If you've never done anal before try some anal play.

Anal play??? What the heck is that?

Before you stick a big dick into your butt you might want to put something smaller there first. Fingers are nice. They are much smaller than a penis and if they are your own you have complete control. Just make sure the person with the fingers going in doesn't have long, sharp fingernails. You can use a condom or a latex glove if you feel it's needed. The only think you must do is use lubricant. The use of lubricant might seem over stressed, but you don't want to be sorry later.

If you don't like the idea of sticking a finger up someone's bum, then try a sex toy. There are a large variety of butt plugs that will help you to stretch your hole and give pleasure at the same time. Don't stick just anything up there. Yes, I've heard stories of people putting things like light bulbs and other household devices up their anus, but it's not recommended to put anything up your anus that is a common household item.

Since you are new to anal play, try a plug with a flared end. That way your toy won't get lost inside of you. The last thing you want to do is take a trip to the hospital trying to explain why you have a carrot stuck up your ass. Or anything else for that matter. The lube you are using will make things slippery, think before you stick it in your butt and make sure it won't slip out of your fingers.

Finally well talk about the issues that can arise when anal is done wrong. Prolapse Rectum is where the ligaments and muscles that hold the rectum in place weaken. If you rush anal sex you increase the risk of tearing the anus and the muscles in that area. Properly preparing your anus for anal sex can help you to avoid problems. And proper preparation always includes lube.

Anal fissures, or tearing of the skin around and inside the anus is when the skin is stretched too far. When anal fissures go untreated or are ripped open repeatedly you can develop sepsis. Sepsis is when a large amount of bacteria enters your blood stream and overwhelms your body to the point that you can't recover. This is where choosing your sexual partner wisely is important. A caring sexual partner will take you to get help if you are injured during sex.

Also a caring sexual partner won't force you to have anal sex if you don't want to. If your partner is pestering you to have anal and you are against it, your lover is probably not the lover you want in the end.

Don't do anal drunk. If you've never done anal before, think before you drink. You need to feel the pain and you want to feel the pleasure. If you are drunk you can't feel when to say stop. If your partner, the one giving anal, is drunk then they aren't going to have the coordination to go gentle once they get going.

For your first few anal experiences you want to relax and take it slow. Stop if the pain is too much. Use loads of lubricant and a condom. Talk with your partner and tell them what you expect and how far you will go. If your partner doesn't seem to be sensitive to your needs then ditch them and find someone else who can make anal a wonderful experience instead of a painful matter.


Jodi Olson said...

I loved your post today.

Sara York said...

Thanks Jodi. It was interesting doing research for the topic.

Vivien Jackson said...

You know, a lot of this is common sense, but so little of the prep work goes on in fiction that I have to wonder about that common sense sometimes. Excellent article.

Tanith Davenport said...

Great post. I'm used to reading stories where it's a case of pants down and off we go, so it's good to have a reminder of the realities.

Sara York said...

Thanks Vivien, I know but common sense sometimes takes a back seat when you mix sex with booze.

Thanks Tanith, sad that the realities sometimes just don't fit the story so authors don't add them in. I'm guilty of it too.

Anonymous said...

Great post, and full of really good advice. It annoys me when I read erotic stories that make anal sex sound so natural and easy for the woman - makes you wonder if the person writing has ever had anyhing bigger than a finger up their butt. Thanks for the article - will recommend my friends read it.

Missy Martine

Sara York said...

I agree Missy. I do know some editors don't even want the cautionary language in the manuscript though. Even had one author state that her editor didn't want condoms in the story.