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Saturday, February 4, 2012

Holy Bondage and Restraints Batgirl


Bondage is a hot button to many people. Some people think it's only for crazies, or sick people. They are unwilling to contemplate the reasons for bondage, instead relying on innuendo and misinformation. To be bound means you give up control. Some people think that the person who gives up control is weak, but not always so. Giving up control of your body and your desires takes strength.

Yes, there are some crazy people into bondage. They aren’t a Dominate because they want to care for another person; they just want to be able to beat the crap out of someone. Run from this type of Dom. But most of the people who practice bondage do so with care for their subs.

In any relationship, control isn't always what you assume it to be. Dom’s may look like they have the control, but it’s the sub who says stop or go. The sub has the safe word or safe object, and by their decision the scene continues or ends.

If you are looking to get into bondage, but don’t know where to start, this little kit is a must. You can hide the restraints under the bed, thus keeping youngsters and guests from finding out what you are doing at night when you get busy. Discuss the rules before hand. Know what you partner is willing to do and what they absolutely will not do. Tying up your partner doesn't give you free rein to abuse your power. Having your partner submit is a chance to show them how much you care.

For added fun, get a blindfold. Having your sense of sight taken away is another level of trust. Of course, this too needs to be consensual. Overt pain isn’t my thing and my partner knows this. Open your mouth and tell your lover what you want, don’t hide your preference. Say no if you are uncomfortable with an action. Use your safe word if you don’t like what is going on.

Trusting your lover takes time and patience on both the sub and the dom's part. Learning to love the other person like they need to be loved is important. Some people have a strong need to give up control during sex, and others have a strong need to take control, making every action go off like the script in their head. If you want to be bound but don’t know how to bring it up with your partner, you should have them read this blog. Bondage doesn’t have to be weird or strange, it’s just the complete giving of yourself to your partner. Agree on a safe word or safe object to hold and have fun.

6 comments:

Davee said...

Great blog today, Sara, and so true. The physical sensation of bondage sometimes calm my ADD mind, so, I totally understand. Thank you for posting!

dave94015 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
dave94015 said...

Sara - I remember reading this post before (maybe something very similar) and I'll repeat the comment I made in brief:
You point out how the submissive really controls the action and a dom must be sensitive to his partner's reaction to the bondage. This may take time and exchange on the same level at first. TPE happens only after considerable trust is established, if ever.
The kit you link to is useful for travel, sessions with clients in hotels, etc.
also in the line: "takes time and patients", did you mean patience?

Sara York said...

Ugh Dave, I'm writing a book where the MC is a doctor and he has lost of patients. That word keeps getting automatically typed when I mean patience.

Sara York said...

Okay Dave, now I remember why I wrote this post. My doctor is into bondage. I'd totally forgot that about him. Sad that I forgot that about one of my characters but my brain is still fuzzy from the surgery last week. It is a new blog, but I've probably written on the subject before. Like I said, the brain is slow this week.

J.M. Sloderbeck said...

Bondage when handled correctly by someone who knows what they're doing can be an exciting, even life-changing experience: you might discover something about yourself that you never expected.

Or so my girlfriend tells me. :D

Good post, I enjoyed it. Who doesn't like to talk shop every once in awhile?