A few years ago I visited San Francisco and new I wanted to write a book from that trip. Push was penned based on my love for the city and...
Enjoy the first part of Push
The water turned off, signaling the end of Mike's shower. Nick sighed. There were things left unsaid, always had been between them. From the first time they'd been together, Mike had erected a wall Nick knew not to cross. They didn't speak of feelings, nor did they do the emotional thing. One place they worked well together was in bed and if they added a third to their mix, their connection was even better, allowing Mike to open to Nick's emotions.
He'd wanted to say something about the man to Mike the first day he'd seen him but their meetings were packed at the beginning of the week. As the week progressed, they had tapered off. With only one meeting this afternoon, at three, it left him free to do as he pleased.
Mike came out of the bathroom, his dark skin still moist with water he hadn't toweled off. His hair was cropped close to his head and his jaw cleanly shaven. He looked good, like a dark Adonis ready for battle. Thick, corded muscles bunched at his shoulders, leaving Nick full of lust. Nick rolled over, tucking one knee under the sheets and hugging a pillow tight, wishing Mike was still in bed with him. "You sure you don't need me to come with you this morning?"
"No, I'm good. Go have fun. We'll be leaving San Francisco soon."
"I saw someone you would like."
Mike turned to stare at him, his dark eyes narrowed. He breathed in deeply, emphasizing his muscled pecs. Nick sighed, wondering if they would ever progress past this stage and take things further. They lived together for convenience; Mike made sure Nick understood that completely. Any time emotions came into play, Mike shut down. The only time Mike had come close to being emotional was when they'd had Derek, the last guy they'd asked to join in on the fun. But Derek hadn't lasted.
"Really?" Mike asked.
"Yeah. Pale, dark hair. Beautiful. He'd look good against your black skin."
"Down by the bridge."
Mike pulled on briefs and slacks, zipping and buttoning them. "Think you'll see him today?"
"No clue, but if I did, would you want me to approach him?"
"Damn, I wish I could go with you today. I would love to see him."
Nick smiled up at Mike and rolled onto his back, deliberately tempting Mike with his exposed body. "So, if I ask him for a date, will you be okay with that?"
"Yeah, as long as I get to come."
Nick grinned as he sat up and grabbed hold of Mike's waistband. "I'll make sure you come, don't worry about that."
Mike growled playfully and tugged Nick up, brushing his lips over Nick's jaw and squeezing his ass with his hands. "I have to leave in five minutes and you start this now. I should bend you over and fuck you hard."
"Anytime you want, my ass is yours."
Mike kissed him deeply, leaving him breathless and needy. If only Mike would say the words, then maybe he wouldn't feel lost in this relationship. It could be worse; he could be dating a jerk. At least they were comfortable with each other.
Nick reluctantly let Mike leave, then showered and dressed quickly. He used a series of busses to make his way to Crissy Fields near the Golden Gate Bridge. If he didn't see the guy today, life would still be okay. At least he'd tried.
He sat on a bench near the park entrance for thirty minutes, knowing he needed to give up the hunt for the beautiful man with long dark hair and pale skin. But the smooth red lips and lithe body had enticed him.
Five more minutes passed and Nick decided to stop waiting for the guy. He walked toward the stairs leading up to the bridge. He and Mike would leave in two days, heading home to Tennessee. This would probably be his last chance to see the man. Nick sighed and looked back over the bay, wishing he had more time in the city. He loved San Francisco, the cute shops, the beautiful building, and the enchanting wharf. Maybe he and Mike could take their vacation here next year too.
Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw a flash of black. He turned hopefully, searching for anyone with long dark hair. He saw someone, but it wasn't him, only someone who looked like his fantasy man. Defeated, he spun around and almost ran into the man he'd been looking for. Nick took a moment to recover before following the beautiful seraph he hoped might become their third. Nick moved closer, keeping his gaze on the man.
Before entering the small coffee shop, the stranger stopped and lifted his face to the sky. Nick saw his chest rise and fall as he took in a deep breath. Fog swirled in the air. The familiar red tops of the bridge were obscured and soft light filtered through, giving the man an ethereal glow. Beautiful. Nick thrilled at the sight, and then winced as thick denim confined his rapidly hardening dick. Now that he'd found the guy, everything seemed perfect for Nick to make his move. The weather, the Warming Hut, and his desire felt right and pushed him forward, ready to take a chance and talk to the beautiful stranger.
The man opened the door to the Warming Hut and Nick reached around, catching it, holding it open. The stranger turned and their gazes locked. Surprise shone in a pair of jade green eyes and the two men stood still for a moment, staring at each other. The stranger's cheeks flushed and his gaze crept lower to Nick's lips. Nick's dick pulsed painfully and his balls drew up close to his body at the blatant display of interest. Leaning in and kissing him now would be wrong, but he wanted to possess this man, marking the pale skin with love bites as he claimed that perfect body as his own. Slow down there, buddy. Nick calmed his racing heart, breathing in deeply so he didn't do anything stupid.
"Would you like to join me for a cup of coffee or something?" Nick asked boldly.
The stranger smiled before he glanced away. "Sure," he replied as he snuck another look at Nick.
His voice slid over Nick like a silk scarf, wrapping him in warmth. Not having this man would be a tragedy. He might not go for Nick's type of arrangement, but he prayed this stranger would want to join in. Blurting the plan out all at once would ruin any chance he had, so he'd go slow, dropping bits and pieces along the way.
Nick stepped into the Warming Hut, brushing past the man. When he faced the stranger again, he held out his hand, offering a friendly handshake. Excitement skittered around his belly as their hands connected. The stranger's eyes widened a bit and the pulse point in his neck fluttered. Had he experienced the same thrill as Nick? "How about we get a cup and go up to the bridge together?" Nick asked, wanting to spend as much time with this man as possible.
The green eyes creased in the corners as he studied Nick. They were still connected, neither of them dropping the other's hand. The wind blew through the door, rattling the wind chimes hung over the curio shop desk. The man took a step toward Nick, allowing the door to shut.
"Say yes," Nick begged, unable to hold back. God, he wanted this man too much.
They were standing only inches away from each other, close enough that Nick felt warm breath on his neck, sending desire straight to his cock. The scent of chocolate and coffee wafted around them, heightening the experience.
"I'd love to."
Yes! Nick wanted to shout, but he didn't. "By the way, my name is Nick, Nick Blakewood."
"Adam. I like that." Desire to hold Adam tight and whisper his name filled Nick. Better yet, the thought of Mike holding Adam while Nick ran his tongue over the curve of this guy's ass stimulated him beyond reason.
* * * *
Nick was younger than he; there was no doubt about it in Adam's mind. No wrinkles marred his appearance. His skin was smooth except when he smiled, and then a few crinkles framed his baby blues. A wave of euphoria washed over Adam, leaving him needy. He studied Nick, noticing a scar on his upper lip on the right side. Adam wanted to lick the scar, running his tongue over the man's lips and more.
He stepped out of the circle of heat Nick threw off, dropped Nick's hand, and doused his libido with the cooling thought that a young stud like Nick wouldn't be interested in more than a one-night romp to brag about, if that. While he'd enjoyed quick fucks in the past, he wasn't into that scene anymore. Too many bad hookups and one too many health scares had left him wary of one-night stands. The responsibility he carried now made that type of lifestyle impossible. But hell, even though fucking around was wrong, and he didn't know this Nick guy beyond their casual meeting, he wanted to lick, touch, and taste him. Adam breathed in deeply, trying to get a whiff of Nick's scent over the thick aroma of coffee. A strong masculine trace tickled his senses, but he couldn't tell if the scent was Nick or a random fragrance in the shop.
Nick angled behind Adam as they approached the counter and placed a possessive hand at the small of his back, slowly sliding his fingers down, almost touching his rear. Awareness trickled through him as Nick's caress drove him to distraction. The man looked taller by at least five inches, maybe six, his shoulders broad where Adam's were narrow. He would love to be dominated by this man, held underneath and bent in half while the guy pounded into him. The poor boy probably wouldn't even understand half the evil thoughts playing through his mind. Then again, maybe he would. If Adam took this young man up on the unspoken offer of more than a few shared moments drinking coffee, a vanilla fuck wasn't what he wanted. He wanted wild and crazy. If he planned on risking his sanity, possibly throwing him into a spiral of regret-induced depression, he wanted this to be spectacular.
Adam had spotted Nick earlier in the week and dreamt about him. Hot, restless dreams where he was younger and his body like it had been twenty years ago. Wrinkle free, his ass muscles so tight you could bounce a quarter off them. Not that he looked horrible, but the decades did things to a body not even the most obsessed gym rat could overcome without Photoshop or lots of plastic surgery.
"What do you want to drink?" Nick asked.
"Hot cocoa would be nice." The calories were much more than coffee but he didn't want coffee breath. And he might as well splurge before going back to the grind of real life, because once he was home, he would fall into his normal regimented routine.
Nick placed their order as Adam watched, loving the slope of his nose and the soft shadow of a beard, as if he'd shaved late in the day yesterday and hadn't bothered this morning. Nick flipped out a few dollars, surprising Adam from his observations. He hadn't meant for Nick to pay for his drink. Funny how Nick's broad shoulders and strong features had totally distracted him, leaving him lost in fantasies he could no longer afford.
This was the first trip for pleasure he'd taken by himself since adopting his brother's three kids eleven years ago. Hell, that had aged him terribly, maturing him quickly to the point his friends all called him the old man.
The years since his brother's life ended had been filled with joy brighter than any star and pain darker than the darkest night, leaving him feeling more rewarded than he ever had before and less sure of himself where other men were concerned. The loneliness, a recent thing, stole his peace, but he wouldn't give those kids up for anything. He refused to bring his previous lifestyle into the mix. The kids needed stability, not a fucked-up dad who brought home different guys every weekend. Few of the men he saw wanted the shackles that came with Adam's life, one of the major reasons he no longer dated.
"You've probably heard this already, but your eyes are beautiful."
Adam glanced up, caught off guard by the compliment. "What?"
"Your eyes, they're very nice, actually beautiful. That shade of green is unusual."
His cheeks heated and he looked away, then slowly slid his gaze back to Nick. "Thank you."
Their cocoa arrived almost too quickly. Picking up the cup, Adam's stomach twisted as he thought about how much older he must seem to Nick. Fifteen years? Possibly twenty? Maybe Nick wasn't aware of the age difference.
"Let's go." Nick grabbed Adam's free hand, twining their fingers together, and led him outside.
Adam smiled as a sense of youthfulness washed through him. The sun-warmed air cheered him, and the fog was clearing, revealing the bay and its rugged beauty. He liked how Nick took charge, leading him out of the building and across the street to the stairs twisting up the hill on the way to the bridge.
"You seem to know the area well." Adam took another sip of his cocoa, wanting to hear Nick's voice again, see if he could place his dialect.
"I've studied Google Maps extensively. I'm not that good with directions, but I can get by in a pinch."
Adam chuckled, glancing at Nick often as they ambled along, making small talk, slowly sipping their drinks. Adam questioned how he'd been so lucky as to meet this good-looking man. They stopped where the trail leveled off, gazing out into the bay. Adam mulled over how to proceed. "The view is amazing," he finally said, out of practice in the art of flirting.
"Yes, it is."
Nick dropped his hand and Adam glanced up to find Nick staring at him. Adam's breath grew shallow as Nick reached over and tucked his hair behind his ear. Nick's eyes settled on his lips and Adam leaned in, need coursing through him as he let desire direct his actions. It had been so long since he'd been with a guy this young; hell, it had been so long since he'd been with any man. Nick looked so good, delectable. One kiss, that's all he wanted.
Nick wrapped his free arm around Adam and brushed his lips over Adam's, allowing them to slide slowly across his mouth. A flutter of excitement filled his belly and he shivered. Nick's tongue licked his lips as if begging them to open. Adam swayed closer, praying this guy would be nice. So many men littered his past, but few had been decent. He'd been a partier before responsibility hit him like a ton of bricks, forcing him to change everything about his lifestyle, from the home he owned to the job he held and the vacations he took.
Adam's lips parted as Nick's tongue dipped in to tango. Nick tasted like chocolate and sweetness, all young and delicious. Nick groaned and stepped closer until he was pressed against Adam's side, Adam's cock hardened against the sexy man's upper thigh. Memories of being nineteen and free to fuck like rabbits hit Adam, and he almost pulled out of the kiss, momentarily desperate to be back there, blowing and going like nothing mattered. But he was satisfied with his life now, he had to be. Doing one-nighters again would lead him down a dark and dangerous path. Nick moaned and pressed in, grinding against Adam, distracting him from his thoughts and leaving him restless. Snippets of conversations carried from below, warning of people coming up the steps. Time to back off.
Adam broke the kiss and reluctantly withdrew.
"What's wrong?" Nick's eyes drilled into Adam's, desire shooting sparks of passion between them.
"People are coming." Adam ran his fingers through his hair, wondering if he should walk away now. He glanced at Nick and sighed. He couldn't leave yet. Even if Nick fucked him over, leaving him wallowing in despair afterward, he needed this.
Nick leaned in and whispered, "Mmm, that was good." Nick took Adam's hand again, and squeezed.
Memories of the past slammed him. Longings he'd thought he'd conquered rose, baring their ugly head as he stared into Nick's eyes. It wasn't that he didn't want a partner; oh God, to have someone special in his life, to take away the sting of the harsh realities of his everyday existence, someone to hold him close in the middle of the storms, but he couldn't let just any man into his circle. He had to be serious and committed, not the type who would pop in for a booty call and then disappear for months on end. With his responsibilities on the other side of the continent, freedom to take a chance without too many consequences played with his mind but Adam was hooked. He had no choice but to ride this out to the end. Walking away from this alluring man now would leave too many regrets.
* * * *
Nick glanced over his shoulder as three couples trudged up the steps. All he wanted was a moment alone with this guy. Adam turned him on, had him in heat, desperate to mate. But fuck, he wanted more than just a poke.
He took Adam by the hand and led him up the next flight of steps. More people filled the path going up to the bridge. He wanted privacy but knew he wasn't going to get any here in busy San Francisco unless he took this beautiful seraph back to his hotel. That Adam followed him so willingly revved him up.
"I've always wanted to take a sailboat out on the bay," Nick spoke softly, wanting to share things with Adam for some unexplicable reason.
"I love sailing. It's so peaceful being out on the water."
They made it to another lookout, where they stopped for a moment, enjoying the view and drinking the remains of their hot chocolate.
"I like peaceful. I bet you'd look great on a sailboat."
Adam's lips quirked up at the corners but he said nothing as several people streamed past behind them, their chatter interrupting his thoughts. He wanted to tell Adam how beautiful he was, that when their gazes met, heat pulsed through his body, but he didn't want to be interrupted and something kept him from inviting Adam back to his room for a quick fuck. A skittishness rolled off the man, like he would flee if pushed.
After tossing their empty cups in the trash, they continued up the path, and Nick wondered how to get this man into his bed, to sample more than his lips, to sink into him, claiming Adam as his own. That made him more afraid than anything. He wanted to possess Adam, not just fuck him. Oh hell, why was he thinking about anything other than a one-time fling? Just one night, that's what this was about.
At the entrance to the old tunnel, Adam balked. Nick didn't blame him. Deep shadows turned the inside black and he was bigger than Adam. Perhaps the guy thought he would take advantage of the situation. Desire churned in his belly, leaving him aching for more intimate contact.
"I swear it's safe," Nick said. He slung his arm around Adam, loving the feel of the smaller man next to him.
Adam slanted a glance at Nick, the wind picking up his dark hair and blowing the locks across his eyes. The strain on his face fell away as Adam relaxed. Adam shrugged as trust filled his gaze, but in reality Nick didn't deserve that trust. Desire clawed at him, his dick hard. The thought of stopping in the tunnel and doing something, anything, with this beautiful man, crossed his mind more than once as they'd made their way up the hill to the tunnel. Hell, he wanted Adam now, but he would behave on this path where anyone could interrupt them. His insides squirmed as he thought of what that meant. Mike and he had never brought in another person for more than a few fucks, but for this guy, he wanted to make an exception. It was probably a mistake to be thinking that way about Adam, but Nick had never experienced such a quick connection. With Mike, it had taken ages for them to get hot for each other. He wondered if his fantasies were pushing him to feel a connection where there wasn't one.
"Let's go." Adam stepped into the darkness.
Nick watched Adam disappear inside before following. He caught up with Adam after the low spot in the ceiling and drew the man into his arms. When his lips touched Adam's, he jumped but Adam's hand reached for Nick's ass cheek and pulled them together. He rubbed his pelvis against Nick.
They held each other, their bodies heating the small space as Nick ran his hands over Adam's body. Before Nick realized what was going on, Adam had sunk to his knees, his fingers fumbling with the button on Nick's jeans. The thrill of Adam giving him head in this dank little man-made cave caused Nick's mind to buzz. His thoughts warred between making him stop so they wouldn't get caught and encouraging him to continue.
Adam scooped Nick's cock out of his pants, groaning before placing his lips on the tip and sucking the rod into his mouth in one swift move. Adam's lips on his cock felt like heaven had come down to earth, wrapping him in a blanket of warmth that left him unable to do anything but let Adam suck him till he died. Nick's skin pricked with goose bumps, leaving him tingly all over. Adam licked Nick's shaft, swirling his tongue around the tip and back down to the base.
Nothing in Nick's sexual history had been this exciting. Getting sucked in this very public place turned him on. Even with Mike, the thrill hadn't been this huge. Testosterone and adrenaline pumped through him, blanking his brain and wiping out his ability to see beyond the length of his body where Adam's mouth sucked him just the way he liked. The tunnel disappeared, leaving only the soft moans and slurping of Adam blowing his dick.
A kid screeched loudly outside the tunnel, breaking the moment of passion. Adam jumped to his feet, tucking Nick back into his pants and zipping him up. Adam pulled at Nick's shirt, untucking it to hide Nick's raging hard-on. "We'd better go," Adam whispered, tugging Nick toward the exit and out into the sunshine.
The light stung Nick's eyes and made him squint to the point he couldn't see. "Wow." Off balance and out of whack, Nick stumbled.
"Wow is right," Adam said as he squeezed Nick's hand, steadying him.
Two kids raced out of the tunnel and almost ran into them. After his eyes adjusted, Nick led Adam to one of the picnic tables. They climbed up on top and sat down together. They remained silent until the family with kids moved on.
"That was amazing," Nick said.
"As much as I hate hookups, we should get a room." Adam smiled up at Nick, his normally alabaster cheeks flaming pink.
"There's someone I want you to meet."
Adam's eyes grew dark and he climbed off the picnic table. "Are you married or something?"
"It's not like that."
"I don't want to come between you and your partner."
"Not a partner, but really, it's okay." Nick assured him.
Adam's face screwed up and his eyes went wide. "Wife?"
"No, it's not a girl."
Adam raised one eyebrow, his mouth curling down in a frown. "So he's not your partner. Is he your friend?"
"His name's Mike and we're… kind of like lovers."
"So why chase after me?"
Nick swallowed his fear, hoping the guy would stick around to listen. "You're hot."
Adam turned to leave and Nick grabbed his shoulder. The stiffness in Adam's stance didn't surprise Nick.
"Damn, Mike is so much better at explaining this. You'd like him." His palms were slick with sweat and his shoulders tightened.
"Let me get this straight. You and Mike are lovers but you want a third because you're kinky assholes?"
"I want you. It's more than just getting off. It's you. And I want you to meet Mike. Tonight."
"I'm not sure," Adam said tentatively.
"Please. Like I said, I'm bad at explaining this. I want to get to know you. I promise at any point you can say no and we'll walk."
Adam backed away, shaking his head. Nick thought about going after him, but decided chasing the guy wouldn't solve anything. Adam needed to figure this out on his own. Nick might want to have Adam but pushing wouldn't help. Adam needed to determine if a threesome would be too much. Adam paced across the open area, walking around the huge tree and back again. His gaze shot over to Nick every few seconds, as though he were debating with himself over meeting Mike.
Finally Adam stopped moving, hands on his hips. "Where would we meet?"
"Wherever you want." Nick smiled, his heart thumping and his head spinning. Adam seemed intrigued, that was a good thing. Not everyone would understand why he'd gone after Adam, some might call him sick or perverted, but he wanted this man. He'd heard it before, that sex with three was wrong, but he didn't think so.
"Fine. We'll meet at Ghirardelli Square. It's near my hotel. Seven?"
Nick jumped up and wrapped Adam in his arms. "You won't regret this. I'll see you then."
"I don't know about that."
"Adam, I swear, if at any point you want to stop, I'll stop."
"What about Mike?"
Nick cupped Adam's chin, suddenly feeling like the older of the two, and rubbed his thumb over Adam's red lips. "I know you don't know me. I wish we had more time together, time to get to know each other. I won't let anything happen to you that you don't want."
"You turn me inside out." Adam whispered then glanced away. "I didn't mean to say that out loud."
"It's okay. You kind of turn me inside out too."
Adam bit his lip, looking sexy as hell. "As much as I would love to walk up on the bridge with you, I really need to think."
"Hey," Nick brushed his lips over Adam's again, excitement skittering through his belly. "Once you meet Mike, if you don't feel comfortable, all you have to do is say so and we'll walk away."
"You're being very nice about this. Most guys would just take and not care."
"I'm not most guys."
Adam swallowed hard and nodded. "I need to clear my head."
"I'll be waiting for you."
Nick watched as Adam disappeared down the path. He wanted to follow but Adam needed time. He only hoped the beauty would show up tonight because he wanted this man more than he'd ever wanted another.