Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Get Away From Me You Ugly Beast - Or What Is Beauty

Beauty may be in the eye of the beholder but what does that mean when our society is shut down, unable to feel emotions beyond lust and the need to have what we want right now. Few take the time to get to know someone enough to see past the physical manifestation of beauty or lack there of. We shortchange any relationship unless the person is physically appealing to us.

If you've read Dale Cooper's article in the Huffington Post, then you have a basic understanding of what I'm talking about. We've become a society of robots, looking for the perfect robot to meet our physical needs but no longer interested in feeling anything above release then moving on.

Yes, physically attractive people are nice to look at but that doesn't mean they will be good partners. Of course to find a partner, you need to recognize that you need a partner. Loneliness filters through our lives, leaving us bored and unable to settle at night. We blame insomnia or we become workaholics, focusing on gaining money instead of understanding our fellow man. We develop a tough outer shell, praying that no one gets close enough to ever hurt us again because instead of growing from our pain we've given up, becoming half human, no longer willing to participate in life.

Pain builds character. If you never take a chance on loving someone, your life remains hollow. Too many people settle for hollow existences, barely surviving without medicating our lives to extreme, thinking that cocaine or booze will heal our ripped out hearts.

People fill up their lives with things, convincing themselves that they are happy. They buy new toys, have sex with hot bodies that they pay for either through illegal prostitution or legal prostitution where they date someone only because of their looks and buy their time with gifts and fancy meals, not because they want to spend time with the other person, but they need the satisfaction of having a pretty person on their arm.

Delving deep into a relationship, throwing off the shackles of fear and avoidance, is the most satisfying and terrifying adventure you will ever experience. I have to mention an article I did with Bobby Momenteller inMarch of 2012. Bobby's body is amazing, but there is more to Bobby than the way his muscles are sculpted. If Bobby were 5'5" and weighed 300 pounds, no one would give him a second look on the street. Few people would talk to him unless they had to and fewer people would want to date him. Bobby is a fascinating man who gets immediate respect and attention because of his body but if you took away the beauty, he would still be Bobby.

Why do we put ourselves in this box, where the ideal man or woman must fit a certain look? Before we even reach adulthood we chain ourselves to an ideal look, selling ourselves short, making life difficult and harming our future. If we see a gorgeous guy with an ugly woman, or the opposite, a beautiful woman with an ugly guy, we wonder how they wound up together.

There is more to life than the hollow shell we've allowed ourselves to experience. Attraction is a strange beast, but forcing our attraction to only be to those who we deem perfect stunts our ability to achieve happiness. The number of couples who get divorced after a few years when the man realizes that the beautiful woman he chained himself to is a shell, unable to carry on a decent conversation, is astounding. People pick their mates based on stupid criteria instead of thinking about what they really want in their future.

No one is perfect. If you are looking for the perfect person you are going to fail. When you set strict criteria for the people you date based on looks you close yourself off from experiencing the real beauty that is inside of a person. Airbrushed models look good in print advertisement because someone has changed their appearance. The ideal human specimen may look pretty, but do you really want to be stuck with someone who has a personality as thin as the paper the model is displayed on? You might luck out and find a person of substance who also is physically pleasing, but remember, the body can change and be exercised into a more pleasing shape, rarely does a person grow on the inside enough to become pleasant to deal with if they are a real bitch to begin with.

We all fall into the beauty trap, unable to distinguish between real beauty which comes from the inside and never fades, and fake beauty that grows dimmer with each passing year. If you are single, I challenge you to step outside your box and find someone based on more than just their outward appearance. Don't settle for worthless hookups where you and the other person treat each other no more special than a blowup doll. Find a relationship that means something where you and your partner experience fulfillment and not just sexual release.

Where did all of this come from? The vid with Dustin Hoffman. 

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