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Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Things that happen in LA

We haven't even been in LA for 12 hours and we have an official list of The Top 10 Weird and Crazy Things We've Seen in LA.

10. We ate lunch with a dog we didn't know. She was cute, but she climbed up on our laps like she owned us.

9. 2 homeless people breaking up. It wasn't pretty...at all. You know, all the nastiness from breaking up, the curse words said, the slurs. Yeah, it was bad. Really, she didn't need him, but you kind of felt sorry form him until he started telling everyone and the dog(yes we were still at the restaurant) how bad she was in bed. Then he proceeded to tell her to fuck off and to go to hell. Not pretty at all.

8. A pedophile getting in fight with a tall dude. And it's not that the short man looked like a creepy pedophile, no, he admitted that he was a pedophile to everyone in the area. So pedophile dude did look a little sketchy, but so did tall dude. In the end, tall dude did a roundhouse kick and knocked the pedophile to the ground. After that they went their separate ways.

7. We watched a homeless man in a red speedo try to dance with a boom box on his shoulder. Matt Boston, he was an abomination to all red speedo men. I'm sorry, I don't think I can look at another man in a red speedo and not see this guy.

6. 15 people tried to sell us drugs. You may think I'm exaggerating, I'm not.

5. A guy playing guitar. Yeah, sounds normal. No this homeless guy was playing so good it was amazing. Except my daughter saw that he wasn't plugged in and that he wasn't really playing. He was playing a radio that had guitar music playing. Funny that people who really know how to play guitar can spot fake playing.

4. A very tanned homeless man in underwear trying to dance. It kind of burned my eyes.

3. My daughter is a homeless person magnet. Every homeless person we walked past tried to talk to her. It was very strange.

2. A woman with no pants or underwear on. 4 inch heels and a bran new tattoo wearing a white dress that was about 2 inches too short to cover her hooch. She was carrying a pair of white roller skates, a suitcase with a broken wheel and a box. She was trying to convince another woman to get a tattoo. The other woman wasn't interested. The conversation turned funny as the woman with no pants/underwear told the other woman she would take her and started to drag the woman back to the tattoo shop. It all ended well, but it was a bit sketchy there for a while.

And the number 1 weird thing we've seen in LA

Two people having sex in the parking lot. When he was done he didn't even help her pull her pants up, however he did hug her then kiss her on the lips.

And there you have it. The top 10 for the night. Who knows what the heck tomorrow will bring.

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